


Everglow from the Ashes

by dasakuryo



Series: fluttering thrill at the end of our fingertips (blissbirth) [6]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Battle of Scarif
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2018-12-07 17:12:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11628120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dasakuryo/pseuds/dasakuryo
Summary: After Scarif, their bond only grows.[Snippets on Cassian and Jyn's relationship throughout time. Collection of (tumblr) fills]





	1. Safety

**Author's Note:**

> Snippets on Cassian and Jyn's relationship throughout time, fills for tumblr prompts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fill for the prompt "“Shh, you’re safe now." written for cassandor on Tumblr.

Jyn doesn’t know what jolts her awake, if the nightmare itself or the sound of her own screams. She gazes back into darkness, her throat bleeds and her eyes burn. Every single intake of breath chokes her, doing nothing to stop the shaking clawing at every inch of her body, nor the deafening thumping of her heart.

The cold that clings to her, numbs her, suddenly trickles away when she founds herself enveloped by warmness. The steady sway cradling her erratic trembling into languid calm.

 _“Shh, you’re safe now,”_ Cassian whispers into her ear.

The brush of his thumb across her cheek peters out the cold, kneads the quivering away. She muffles her sobs burying her head in his chest, her fingers twitch and dig into his arm when her lips feel the pounding throb of his heartbeat pulsing, beating on her lips.

“You’re safe now,” his voice a rustle, as he traces the hard line of her cheek with gentle brushes of his thumb.

She shudders, focusing on the touch of his fingers sweeping over her arm, focusing on the soft pressure of his lips on her hair. She curls up against him, and Cassian’s arm leaves her arm and wraps protectively around her waist instead, pulling her closer.  

Her hammering heartbeat allays, as the fears slowly fade into the darkness they came from, melting away underneath the kiss of Cassian’s fingertips. He tugs her down along with him. She can’t see him, but she guesses the small smile tugging at his lips when his lips scrape her forehead. The hum, a balm to her torn throat.

It’s his heartbeat what lulls her back to sleep.


	2. Dangers of Absence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fill for the prompt "I can't stay long." Hope you enjoy!

Something tugs at Jyn’s chest when she sees him like that. She swallows the lump that knots her throat when she shuffles closer to the bed; underneath the medbay gown Jyn peers the purple clouding his skin colder. By the sluggish flutter of his eyes, she suspect the clear liquid dropping at regular intervals, right to the vial pricked in his arm, is a strong cocktail of painkillers.

“I can’t stay long,” she says, reaching for his hand, clasping it in hers. They wouldn’t even allow her on that area of the medbay to begin with, despite her insistence and protests. She still doesn’t know how exactly the nurse give in. She knows they can drag her away at any moment —and if not, someone of the Pathfinders will contact her soon enough.

She takes a seat by his bedside, towing the stool closer hooking it in the curve of her ankle. He stirs at the grinding sound of the metal dragging on the duracrete, tilts his head to look at her.

“I’m sorry,” he slurs, his voice barely above a whisper.

A sad smile breaks through her face at the pain in his voice. Not knowing what to say exactly, because this _isn’t_ his fault at all, she brings his hand to her lips, kisses the knuckles softly, not giving a kriff whether the nurses can see her or not. He makes a sound in between a hum and a groan, she rubs her thumb along his hand, kneading the cold away.

“What happened?” she asks.

“I fell,” he breathes out after a painful silence, “and got hurt with— with some crates.”

Jyn will hardly qualify fissure and impact fractures on both legs as merely getting _hurt_. Her chest aches, she wishes she’d been there to help —to keep him safe, to watch his back. Something shatters when Jyn sees the sombreness dawning on him, his lips are trembling and he covers his face with his free hand. Jyn squeezes her eyes shut when she makes up the grim sound of stifled sobs.

She presses her mouth to his hand as her eyes burn, rubbing the heel of her hand over her eyelids to wipe away the glistening of her own tears.

“It will be okay,” she wishes it hadn’t come out in a strangled whimper. “It will be okay.”

“No, it won’t,” he retorts, and the pain laces around a growl, “how many will— because I couldn't—”

Before she realises what she’s doing, she’s leant forward. Jyn shushs him covering his mouth with hers. The pain curls and dies somewhere inside her mouth, somewhere between their mingled breaths. She’s let go of his hand, and her thumb is stroking the angle of his cheek. There’s a faint, dim brightness flickering, playing amidst the dark that clouds his face.

“You need to focus on recovering now,” she whispers.

He nods and closes his eyes. He mumbles something about others having to carry the burden only he should —she clasps his hand tighter at that. The sacrifice and the guilt bleed in the distress of his voice; Jyn knows and understand why he still does this —to keep others from being haunted by the same nightmare, by the same ghosts. Someone in intelligence will have to take his place now. Jyn knows he’s thinking of the new recruits—

“I’m here now. I’m here.”

As he drifts back to a restless sleep, the grip on her throat returns. This time she can’t swallow it down. As the silent tears stream down her face, her last words burn in her tongue. She should have been _there_ , so he wouldn’t be _here_.


	3. Thinking Ahead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following doctor's orders is not precisely one of Jyn's strongest suits, or at least not something she does with no resistance whatsoever. Cassian's left to do damage control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fill for the prompt "stop making your own rules" requested by vaultfox on tumblr. As always, translations at the end notes ;) Hope you enjoy! :)

"Stop making your own rules," Jyn complained in a low, hissed whine.

Cassian knew he should probably keep his smile from showing when looking up, and still he couldn't stop his lips from curling. He raised an eyebrow as her face contorted into an irritated grimace, her lips pressing into a moue.

"I'm not," he reminded her, reaching out for her hand, "those are doctor's rules, I didn't come up with them, you know," he wanted his voice to sound higher, a bit teasing or even joking, but he only managed a tiny smile.

Jyn rolled her eyes but didn't withdraw her hand when his fingers brushed over her knuckles. Her twitching fingers lax, tension melting as she turned it over and let him slide his fingertips on her palm, drawing branched paths of feathery touches. He felt the smile tugging at his lips when she sucked in a breath.

"So, no faa scalefish for me, uh?" she muttered around a groan.

He nodded, "I'm afraid not, maybe next time."

She let out a low whispered growl for all answer.

Cassian took her hand in his and leant forward over the dinette table. He scraped her knuckles with his lips, a fleeting, ghostly pressure on the small bumps and dips. She frowned, but by the way her eyes had narrow and the angle of her tilted head, he knew she was actually on the verge of smiling—

And the dimple materialized on her cheek as soon as he finished that thought.

"You'd better have faa scalefish on stock then," she fought back, a glower dangling on her lips, "you know how long I'd have to wait to eat faa scalefish?" she tilted her head to the other side, and her frown deepened towards the end of her accusatory question until her eyebrows were practically squishing together.

Cassian shook his head, though he actually knew the answer.

"Months," she hissed, the bitterness rippling through the sissing sound, "months," she repeated, this time her tone closer to a grumble. Her eyes narrowed in further annoyance as she eyed the plain yogurt, still untouched, on the light-blue duraplast bowl next to her arm.

Cassian glided off his stool and rounded the table towards her. He was barely a feet away when he saw Jyn stabbing the yogurt with the spoon and it took all his willpower not to chuckle. Her picking at the creamy mass subdued when his thumbs kneaded the space between her shoulder blades; she shifted and leant back into his fingers rubbing down circles with a firm yet gentle pressure. She let out a sound in between a contended hum and a frustrated whine when the pace of his fingers turned into a hard dragging prod along the column of her neck.

"Better?" he asked, pressing a kiss right below her ear.

"I still want to eat faa scalefish, and I can't," she sighed, "so no."

He laid another kiss on her jaw, longer, harder this time.

"Who knows if they'd even have faa scalefish when I can eat it," she grumbled, clearly more to herself than anything else.

"I promise I'll go and fetch some tomorrow," he whispered, stroking her forearm, side of his face on hers, "we can stock it in the freezer, I think six months in there will do it no harm—"

The moment she shifted in that precarious, improvised embrace of his, Cassian thanked his quick reflexes. Looping both arms around her frame, he pulled her backwards and towards him... her fingertips barely scraped the duraplast with an almost inaudible skreek.

"Cassian!" she protested, squirming against him. She would have broken free hadn't it been for the sudden fit of laughter that overtook her —although it would be fairer to say that he actually took advantage of his tactical advantage and tickled her in the right spot.

"No more caf for you today, Jyn," he retorted, voice quivering around a chuckle. "You've had your fill already. Doctor's orders."

"Seriously?" she cried out, outraged.

Her groan reverberated against his chest. He harboured his face in the curve of her neck, leaving a trail of soft, yet lingering kisses, all the way up to her jaw. He could feel her fidgeting under the brush of his lips, somehow managing to lean further into him.

 

"This isn't fair," she protested, and her voice was dangerously close from turning into a whine. She couldn't care less, she didn't care about sounding like a spoiled child either— kriff, she'd even dare to argue she'd earned that benefit, considering her current circumstances.

In came Cassian, brushing his lips on the corners of her mouth, making her blood stir warm in her veins and a hum to rattle her throat. Jyn was slowly melting under his touch— and she hated him for it.

"I'm still mad at you," she said, and she wished her voice hadn't gone up acute, quivering with a threatening giggle. His laugh sent tremors across her body, making her tremble lightly in his embrace in tune.

She tried not to pay too much attention to the way his arms were hooked around her, hugging her close. She tried not to dwell too much on the way he drew back one arm and then reached out, mapping circles and aimless paths on her midriff. Intently feeling and outlining the growing slope curve with the tip of his fingers.

"Did you hear that?" he whispered, chin hooked on her shoulder, "mamá está jetona hoy."

Instead of hissing out the groan building up at the back of her mouth, she picked viciously at his arm. Maybe she should have felt ashamed at herself when his wail of complain rang out.

"Jyn—no te pases—," he breathed out but soon enough he was hugging her close again and kneading the discomfort away, "I'm sorry, okay?"

Though she revelled in the warmth of his lips on her cheek and totally accepted the apology with its tender complement, she still fought back with a frustrated, "you'd be mad too, believe me, if you had to give up like... a lot of your comfort food—" she trailed off.

"I guess is bad timing to ask whether you like my leafy veggie scramble, right?" his voice was barely above a murmur against her cheek.

The scramble was fine, delicious actually —not that she'd actually recognize that out loud, at least not in these circumstances— but that wasn't the problem. The problem was she was growing increasingly frustrated with this whole dietary ordeal, though of course she knew it was important to follow it... sometimes she'd the feeling Cassian pushed it a little too far —and Kay only made it worse with his interjections.

"I'm sorry," she said, voice tiny.

"Don't worry, it's okay," he replied in equal volume, caressing her arm.

The whole situation feel —was— indeed a bit ridiculous when rationalized, and yet, it wasn't any consolation to bury her irritation down— Although of course, she'd not given Cassian much credit.

(Apparently.)

It all numbed into dullness when her gaze fixed on his hand, spread on her abdomen, cupping, hugging its arc through the clothes. Heat of his palm slipping in through her gown and sinking on her skin. She covered his hand with hers, tilting her head to the side to rest against the softness of his hair, dark locks tickling her neck.

She took a deep breath, breathing in the peace, calm and warmness of the moment. Her heartbeat a serene tapping in her chest. Her breathing matched Cassian's, steady, slow; the gentle rocking of her body to the sway of his chest was melting consciousness away, gaze drowsy and eyes fluttering shut.

 

"Cassian," Jyn's voice was slurred, he bit down the smile, reaching out with his thumb and brushing it along the side of her pinky, "don't forget to—" the rest was an unintelligible mumble, though he had a vague idea the topic it dealt with.

"First thing in the morning tomorrow, promise," he whispered, though he doubted she'd even heard him.

Her breathing was slower, steadier now. Cassian let out a long, contempted sigh. He looked up, watching the first blue and purple lights breaking through the dark sky of Fest. The spectacle of colours would ignite the sky alive soon enough. His neck was starting to complain, but he'd not dare to move even a muscle, and start Jyn awake—

He peered at the lights playing on the sky every so often— after all, that marvel dimmed when compared to Jyn's hand cradling his atop the curve of her belly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They deserved all the peaceful domesticity in the galaxy. And, what can I say, I enjoy immensely the looking-after-each-other theme in any variant and context, and under any circumstance so... this happened. Thanks a lot for reading and I hope you've enjoyed the story! Feedback is always welcomed and appreciated! :)
> 
> * * *
> 
>  **Translations**  
>  -mamá está jetona hoy: mum's angry today.  
> -no te pases: don't push it.


	4. Not an Easy Thing to Hand Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fill for the prompt “I've never seen anything like the way you've handled that. I am just so moved.” requested by forestpenguin :)

_“I've never seen anything like the way you've handled that. I am just so moved.”_

Jyn's gaze shied away from him. She bit her lip before turning around. Cassian heard her rummaging through the supplies.

"It was nothing," she shrugged it off.

Cassian had more than just a few arguments to contradict that statement.

There was a crack as she span the security cap open. Cassian ducked his head and fixed his gaze on the meeting of his folded arms.

She wiped the water off her chin with her cuff, and slanted the duraplast bottle in his direction, rasing an eyebrow. Cassian nodded. She twirled the cap back into place, and tossed the bottle at him at the other end of the small cargo hold.

Cassian opened it up and took a generous gulp. He shuffled towards her, flopped down on the crate beside her. Jyn pretended to be unperturbed by the proximity, kneading the base of her neck with insistent back-and-forth rubbing motions.

Cassian tilted the bottle towards her. She shook her head. He took another sip, and stared at the durasteel floor tapping the round rim appreciatively. The rumour of chatter seeped through, in spite of the distance, the durasteel walls and the door closed shut. The shrill of a laughter rang out, acute, rippling, joyful.

Cassian couldn't help the smile that broke free.

"I am sure that it meant the whole galaxy for that girl," he said, stealing a glance of Jyn out of the corner of his eye.

Far from smiling, she frowned. Downcast eyes clouding her face, fingers twitching on her thigh. He wanted to reach out and squeeze her shoulder, but before he could move her voice broke the silence, "it doesn't, not really."

He found herself clasping her shoulder tightly. He pressed his lips together, pushing down the urge to pull her into a hug burning in every fibre of his being. Jyn did not move a muscle, she stared at the opposite wall of the cargo hold, a little pulse twitching in her cheek.

"I wish I could do more than just—" she breathed out in a frustrated sigh. She raked her fingers through her hair, "I wish I could—" she trailed off again, blinking furiously.

Cassian looked away, pretended that all of a sudden it was imperative he tidied up the cuff of his shirt. He waited a few seconds after hearing the rustle of cloth to turn again. He didn't make any comment about the glistening in Jyn's eyes.

Jyn might have been right, perhaps fixing up the girl's hair, undoing the loosened braid and plaiting the air back again in place hadn't been anything particularly jaw-dropping, nor anything that the Rebellion would be particularly interested about hearing during a mission's report. But it had meant something, everything, for that little girl in question.

Cassian was half expecting the outcome the moment the little girl threw her arms around Jyn and hugged her, then he was absolutely sure it would happen eventually when the girl let out a fascinated “just like my mum did it” and sadness flickered through Jyn's face -even though she'd managed to keep the warm smile intact.

And it was true. Jyn had managed to calm the crying girl down, something nobody else had managed to do, not even anyone of the other refugees they'd shipped off-world that afternoon. Jyn'd found a way to get through the child. It was moving, because she'd done so despite her own pain, she'd stayed, chatted and talked and played with the little girl-

Until the pain, until the memories became too much. And Cassian had noted it in her body language -the way her shoulders had hunched, the way sombreness had crept its way into her gaze.

She sniffed.

“You did what you could,” Cassian whispered, squeezing her hand.

Jyn let out a shaky breath and arched her eyebrows at the wall in disbelief. He intertwined his fingers with hers and clasped her hand tighter. Jyn lowered her gaze at the gesture, not at their hands but at the floor. He rubbed his thumb on her palm. A faint smile lighted up her face.

“Still,” she merely whispered, barely seconds afterwards.

“You helped getting all these people to safety,” he reminded her, voice soft and gentle as he kept stroking her hand, “they're going to a planet free of the Emp-”

“For how long?” Jyn fought back, “for how long will it be free of Imperials?”

“Jyn,” he let go of her hand and his fingers reached out for her face. There was a pulsing anger burning in her eyes, “you gave this people the chance to start over, you gave this girl a fond memory to hold on to,” he felt the tightness taking hold of her beneath his touch, “you gave them _hope_ , Jyn.”

She stared at him. She pressed her lips together and snorted, another low, breathy shrug of disbelief.

“You gave them hope. And in this galaxy that's not an easy thing to hand over.”

It took him by surprise, the abruptness with which she threw her arms around him and snuggled close to his chest. She didn't say anything. Cassian couldn't bring himself to say or even ask anything either, so he just held her. He held her and stroked her hair, he held her and rubbed circles on her back, he held her and pressed a kiss to her hair.

He held her, until she fell asleep in his arms. Or maybe he fell asleep in hers.

 

 


	5. Time Managment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fill for the prompt 'you're mine, I don't share.' requested by frijolescontortillas. Hope you enjoy the story :)

 

“Again?”

Jyn's voice was harsh, full of reproach. Cassian didn't meant to arch his eyebrows, but the emotion permeating her voice caught him by surprise. She was staring at him, dead serious, from the opposite end of the table over a spoon full of phraig and meiloorun. He stopped chewing down on his mouthful of hash.

“It's the third time in what, less than a week,” Jyn added with a frustrated huff, picking at her bowl and pushing the pieces meiloorun around the plate.

Cassian took a sip of his caf before answering, even though he was pretty much aware the glare she was shooting in his direction hadn't faded in the slightest.

“I promise it won't take long,” he reached out and squeezed her hand. She arched an eyebrow nonetheless. Cassian knew it would be difficult to convince her, especially considering how the last few instances had turned out.

To be fair with Leia, it wasn't her fault. It wasn't as if she was the one setting up these meetings, galas and dinners with senators. They merely sort of _happened_ , and she needed someone she could trust with her. Normally, that would mean either Solo or the Skywalker kid, but both had been off-world in different missions for the Appeasement process for over a month.

“You're not even a senator, or a politician for that matter,” she kept insisting, vexed. “You being there doesn't even make sense,” the fork met the ceramic with a sharp clash.

Cassian saw the dip on her cheek, where she was clearly biting down on to keep herself quiet. He knew this wasn't jealousy, because there was nothing for Jyn to be jealous -let alone suspicious- about to begin with. No, this was her being annoyed at the fact they didn't get to spend their free-time together as regularly as she'd envisioned. Free-time that was already scarce, given the fact their duties as part of the Alliance delegation on Coruscant during the Appeasement and trails processes took up most of their week. They often left the Galactic Senate at midnight, sometimes even later, virtually every single working day.

It was only natural that Jyn expected to at least have weekends for _themselves_.

But apparently the galaxy (or should he say the Force?) had other plans. Cassian didn't miss on Jyn flexing her fingers around the fork she was still holding, or her noisy breathing and the crease between her eyebrows that seemed to deepen with every passing second.

“Haven't they had you long enough already?”

It was a mumble, practically hissed around a growl. One that Cassian was sure he wasn't meant to hear. He bit his lip, seriously considering whether he should answer or not. Perhaps it'd be better to act as if he hadn't heard anything... but he knew himself, he knew the guilt (and the worry, that too) would eat at him non-stop. At the same time, what could he actually say? Indeed, there was some rightful annoyance that Jyn was entirely entitled to be feeling, and there was indeed some truth to that protest ̶―

But could he really turn Leia down? When he knew she needed someone to be on the alert while she rubbed shoulders with members of the Coruscanti high society, important Core World senators? Could he really ignore that potential threat that Leia's concerns weren't misplaced and there were indeed senators trying to topple down the Alliance efforts to restore a democracy?

There was nothing Cassian would have wanted more than to bring Jyn along in those _undercover missions,_ for the lack of a better term. But Leia was already pushing her luck requesting a plus one. He was lucky his face had never made it to the public, or else everyone would have realised he had been a spy and paranoia would have spread like wildfire -at least, among those who had something to hide, precisely the ones he had to be _on the lookout_ for.

It did taste a bit unfair for his liking, especially considering all things that he'd endured throughout the war. He tried to ease his mind telling himself this was the _last_ effort, then he would be able to sleep soundly at night knowing that the peace wasn't going to vanish and the galaxy would not be plunged into war when he opened his eyes again the following morning.

Or at least, sleep as soundly as a soldier and intelligence officer could...

Jyn was right. He was tired. But he had to do this. If this hadn't happened already in the past few weekends, Jyn's would have shown greater patience, instead of running out of it as quickly as a bubble popped.

“How about I take you to Dex's?” Jyn was still frowning. He cleared his throat, “we can have an early dinner, _together_ ,” he made sure to stress it, “and then I am off to that nefarious gala.”

She nodded. But Cassian knew this was far from over. They would surely have a talk about it in a few days, Jyn would insist they were asking too much of him, Cassian would argue he felt he needed to do this, she would counter-argue that then why he didn't let her help him out, to which Cassian would answer it wasn't necessary, she'd done enough and the Alliance couldn't ask-

(She always interrupted him before he finished that thought, would snarl and ask why the same didn't apply to him)...

They would never finish that conversation. One of them would storm out the room before they said anything they could regret later, before they could fight back with something that they didn't really mean. Cassian would look for her later in the evening, he would find her staring at the cacophony and spectacle of Coruscant out of the window. Sometimes she held a mug of tea, _Kopi tea_ , between her hands, sometimes nothing at all. He would hug her from behind, pulling her close. She never resisted the embrace, but rested onto his chest instead, taking a long, deep breath.

Then Cassian would tell her all of this was almost over, not only this galas that kept him away from her, but this appeasement, the trials, all of it would end eventually. He would tell her, whispering into her ear, that they would have time for them, for their future, to dream. He would start listing what the future might hold for them, Jyn would interrupt him again, shifting in the embrace and pressing a kiss to his mouth to shush him. Foreheads touching, she would whisper an apology, he would cradle her face and lift her chin so he could stare into the bright greenery of her eyes when he assured her he understood, there was no need to apologise, not really.

They would held each other, without saying a word. Making up the comfort of words with the warmness of their bodies converging, without really needing words. They didn't need to voice anything, not when each of them knew perfectly where the other's heart lay.

* * *

“Senator Chuchi,” Cassian said, managing not to choke on the sip of whine when he caught the smirk on the Panthoran's face, “I didn't know you'd been invited,” he said, almost laughing it off.

The woman smiled and the bright green curves of her cheeks curled, “I might have pulled a few strings,” she said, taking a sip of his own wine and wiggling her eyebrows. A silent, clear hint. Cassian couldn't blame her for not being straightforward about it, not that politicians were that straightforward about anything to begin with, but in this case it was even _risky_ to say anything. Half the conversations Cassian had overheard in the past hour reeked of speciesism in some way, shape or form. It had taken all his self-control not to purse his lips when a Coruscanti senator argued that the Shilian delegation would never be able to discuss the project in next week's session because they were _primitive_ and wouldn't be able to understand such matters _._

Cassian was tempted to argue whether supporting slavery by doing nothing and turning a blind eye wasn't a primitive backward stance when advocating republicanism and its inherent rights, but he bit his tongue and kept that thought to himself.

“By the way, someone's asking for you, _”_ the senator said, before taking another sip of her wine, “first floor, first hall to the left next to the top of the stairs, if you take those at least,” she clarified, pointing at the stairs in question with a flourish of her hand, at the opposite end of the ball room.

Cassian made a slight bow in both gratitude and farewell. Possibly one of his informants had some news for him, he reasoned while going up the steps, perhaps something that could help him identify any senators who were still partial to the reformation and remained sympathisers of the Empire's dying forces.

He had barely taken a few steps on the first floor when someone yanked at his arm, the shove anything but gentle, pulling him to the shrouds of the deserted corridor. His eyes snapped open, and amidst the conmotion and confusion he tried to make something out amidst the darkness.

The tension that had taken hold of his muscles melted away when his gaze focused on the familiar face.

“Let me guess, you're Senator Chuchi's plus one, right?” he breathed out, in between a chuckle and a snort.

He got a hard kiss on the mouth as an answer. She had the cheekiness of nibbling at his bottom lip when she pulled back. Even in that faint lightning, he didn't miss the way her lips curled, full of herself with that brief shrug of her shoulders.

He offered her his arm.

 

The chatter was a buzzing background noise. They were alone on the balcony. Jyn rested her arms on the handrail, hunching over, staring at the colourful spectacle of the night that shone before her. He shuffled to her side, but leant on the handrail facing her rather than the city.

The night had been fruitful. Not only had they confirmed Leia's suspicions, but they also managed to worm out a few leads from an oblivious Coruscanti senator that had made a vague comment of sympathy to the Imperials on trail. Indeed, Jyn joining the party had had it's positive outcome, strictly politically-speaking. The man would have never made that comment in front of Cassian, after all, most people knew he'd come with senator Organa. Nobody knew with whom Jyn had arrived to the gala.

She ducked her head down slightly, chin on her shoulder, looking up at him in between her eyelashes. The soft dip on her cheek gave proof of the smile that dangled on her lips, obscured from his sight. He couldn't fight down the laugh that reverberated in his chest.

“Was that comment really necessary?” he asked, folding his arms over his chest, Jyn raised an eyebrow at the tone in his voice, “the poor girl merely asked me if I wanted dessert.”

Jyn twitched her lips in a side frown, the edge of laughter was palpable under the surface of that apparent grimace, “I don't know, there was something fishy about it.”

“Really?” he couldn't remember exactly what Jyn had said, but he remembered an obscure emotion flickering through her eyes, as if she suspected there was more behind that girl's apparent mundane and innocent question. She'd clasped his arm tighter, even closer to her side than what already was. He remembered her hands covering his.

Jyn straightened up and leant forward. Their height difference not quite as marked, thanks to her high heels. Her lips started to form a slight grin when she leant forward, one she bit down. Her eyes seemed to sparkle and gleam when she poked him, playfully, teasingly, on his shoulder.

“Well, you got me,” she said, tugging at the lapel for the second time that day; the yank, sharper this time. “You're mine, I don't _share._ ”

Laughing at the comment would have been a waste of time. Time that could be better spent covering the meagre distance keeping them apart and pressing his mouth to hers. So he indulged in that better use of his time.

After all, hadn't they lost enough time already?

 

 

 


	6. A Study in Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn's cold but pretends she isn't. Cassian thinks she is being ridiculously stubborn about it, but he finds a way around Jyn's evasive nature.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for forestpenguin on tumblr as fill for the prompts "I will keep you warm" and "You're a terrible liar." Hope you enjoy! :)

"You're cold."

  
"I am not cold," Jyn fought back, raising an eyebrow at him from the opposite end of the campfire.

Cassian thought her answer would have actually been convincing had she not spend the past five minutes clattering her teeth. He guessed arching an eyebrow would have been of no use, given the circumstances.

He saw Jyn rubbing her hands together as she slid closer to the fire. The light basked her in a mixture of gold and red that made the clear green of her eyes shine warmer than usual. A smile crept its way into his face, unnanounced, and curled his lips before he could even realise he was indeed smiling at the sight of her.

That earned him a glare of pursed lips.

"I've told you I am not cold, Cassian," she insisted, even shrugged to back up her stance.

Which would have been a great move hadn't it been for the fact she shivered not even five seconds later. Cassian couldn't help but arch an eyebrow at her, Jyn rolled her eyes and huffed, folding her arms over her chest so tightly her vest puffed up upwards.

"You're a terrible liar," another glare, it was his turn to shrug, "you know, objectively, I can see that you aren't telling me the truth," he made a pause, licked his lips before adding, "Sargeant."

Suddenly there were wrinkles littered all over her nose bridge and forehead as her face scrunched up in annoyance. WIth her lips pressed together and jutted out like that, Cassian was half expecting to be the target of a colourful epithet next.

"Maybe you aren't as good at reading people as you think, Captain," her retort sounded an awful lot like a frustrated grunt.

Apparently he'd been spared a curse, for now. Cassian could have argued it wasn't a matter of reading people but merely noting the obvious, but he remained silent. It seemed like this desert planet (or perhaps its chilly cold night) brought up the annoyed side of Jyn more easily.

The fire crackled, its bright yellow and orange sparks spiralled upwards, dancing in the breeze. Jyn's gaze was fixed on the flames licking the logs and waving, warm, in the air. She was still frowning, a crease still etched to the space between her eyebrows. Cassian jabbed at the embers with a stick, making bright orange gossamers crack the grey ash-covered surface, and bit the inside of his cheek when he caught a glimpse of Jyn rubbing her hands along her arms (a clear vain effort to numb the cold away).

He pushed some of the embers aside from the fire, spreading them carefully forming a glimmering bed on the ground. He made sure the lizards were safely wrapped to the sticks before pressing in the ground the ends of both pieces of wood. Having to do that came in handy for the thought that flickered through his mind, because then he had an excuse to stand up.

It will take the heat of the embers at least ten minutes to cook their improvised dinner.

He'd time.

Jyn blew out a noisy breath when she heard Cassian shuffling about. She rolled her eyes when he stepped into his proximity. She was expecting a mumbled apology or even further insistence that she was indeed cold and that she needed to put on a jacket or something to that effect. Instead, she nearly jolted out of surprise when she felt him hugging her from behind and pulling her into his chest.  
And the sensation was too warm on her back for it to be touching the waterproof cloth of his parka. And Jyn knew exactly how the warmness of his body felt through that cotton layer of his light beige jacket. So she settled for not punching him in the shoulder for having sat down behind her and dragged her close, but rather she let out a noisy breath.

"I am not cold, Cassian," she practically hissed, fighting down the pleased hum of satisfaction that crept treacherous into her throat at the feeling of being pressed against him, a sensation which had little to do with the cold numbing away precisely.

"I know," he said, hooking his chin on her shoulder, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "I am."

Jyn couldn't help but snort.

"You are cold? Wearing that parka?"

"Yes," Cassian fought back, nuzzling her neck.

So the solution was... body heat, apparently. Not that she was complaining. She wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, first her own stuborness, and then Cassian's nonsensical swerve around the issue and the solution he'd come up with. Well, she couldn't exactly argue that Cassian wasn't resourceful now, could she?

She leant back into him. She pondered on whether to make it clear that she was doing that because she was comfortable and not because she was no longer cold, definitely not because she was seeking him out and resting on the warmth emanating from him -because she wasn't cold in the first place.

Her thighs brushed against his when she moved, as she snuggled against him more comfortably. She felt the tremors of his chuckle trembling on her back. Then he arranged the sides of his parka over her chest, untucking them from the mess of wrinkled cloth bumping under their arms. Naturally, his arms circled around her and pulling her even closer than before.

This time Jyn couldn't keep the hum from thrumming in her throat.

"You're a terrible liar," she fought back above a whisper.

This time, little did the cold have to do with the shiver that ran up her back. She breathed out a delighted sigh. Cassian smiled against her neck, lips brushing over the pulse point they'd just grazed over.

"Guess that makes two of us, uh?" he whispered in her ear, "Don't worry, I will keep you warm."

Jyn guessed there were far more enjoyable activities they could engage in than arguing.


	7. With a thread of voice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassian utters the words in the dark when he thinks she's asleep. But Jyn's awake, and she heard his confession.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation of the ficlet **Con un hilo de voz** written in Spanish for Dix, a fill to the prompt "things you said when you thought I was asleep." Hope you enjoy :)

"Te quiero."

Jyn forced herself to inhale and keep her breathing even, pretending to be asleep. His voice had been barely above a whisper. She stirred, curling up a bit more. Cassian's arm rested, feeble, on the curve of her waist. She felt the graze of his body when he shifted, an instant later his fingers were wandering aimlessly over her abdomen. A caress that was almost ethereal, ethereal like his confession.

She wanted to turn around, look at him in the and say… something. Tell him that she felt the same way, or perhaps it'd be better to economize on words and let a simple action speak for her, maybe it'd be better if she just let a kiss fill the silence of what she couldn't exactly put into words—

Or perhaps it would be better if she just remained silent altogether. After all, those words have left his mouth when he thought she was asleep… but not saying anything felt as if she was lying to herself.

He kissed her shoulder —or rather, brushed his lips against it. His lips seemed to nestle on that point of inflexion where her shoulder turned to neck. He held her against him, and Jyn could feel the exhilarating warmth of his chest on his back, a warmness that lulled her back into the mist of dreams that whispered had plucked her out of.

Perhaps the flutter in her stomach was to blame for it… or perhaps her heart beating in her ears, or the smile tugging at her lips (or all that combined) were to blame— Fact was that she couldn't really pinpoint when it happened, it could have been minutes or barely seconds after. The scarce tension of conscience clinging to him faded, his arm slack circling her middle. A calm, gentle hug, his breath tickled her neck, sending shivers through her body.

Jyn let her fingers drew adrift patterns on his palm. He stirred in his sleep, mumbling something around a whisper, he buried his face in her hair. Jyn was unable to keep the smile from spreading over her face.

She stroked his knuckles.

"Yo también te quiero," she whispered to the silence, tongue wrapping easily around the words now.

She hoped that in the near future, she would be able to whisper the same against his lips. She hoped that, in the near future, the verb leaving her lips was another one. A more profound, rooted in the deeper feeling still hidden in the beats of her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am all about that te quiero vs te amo distinction ♥ This story tiptoes around another headcanon of mine that's Jyn learning and picking up Festian (which yes, I take as a variety of space!Spanish) little by little. No translations this time because it's impossible to translate te quiero into English (because yes, it kind of is an _I love you_ but it's really not, and yet it can mean as much as an I love you but you know, not really? because then there's te amo and... well, _the distinction_ ). Sorry, apologies for the rant n.nUu Thanks for reading and I hope you've enjoyed the story! :)


	8. Tangles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fill for the prompt “Ssh. Stop fussing. I’m just braiding your hair.” Hope you enjoy the read!

“Ssh. Stop fussing. I’m just braiding your hair.”

The last time Jyn had heard that she was a child. Her body went still, her throat tightened as her mother's voice rang all of a sudden in her ears. The light tugging on her hair came to a halt, her eyes were stinging and the sharp intake of breath wasn't of any aid. A few swishes of sheets later an alien but familiar warm weight rested on her shoulder, a faint smile edged her lips.

"Jyn," in came his concerned, hushed whisper tickling her cheek, "is something wrong?"

She bit her lip, shaking her head, realising she'd budged away from Cassian the moment his fingers stroke lazily the valley between her shoulder blades. The warm tingles that followed his caress unravelled a bit the lump clogging up her throat.

Cassian reached for her arm, nestling his palm on the crook of her elbow. His sigh sent a shiver across her neck. She pressed her lips together, curling her fingers into her palms, waiting for the next question in hope it might pluck her away from memory lane.

"Are you okay?" he asked again, tracing the curve of her elbow. "Did I pull your hair or—"

"No, no," she cut in with a hush. She'd have tried a different tone, given Cassian fingers twitched as soon as the words came out of her mouth. "I just—" she didn't know what to say next and she ended up fixing her gaze on her lap, anxious fingers twiddling with the crumpled sheet.

 _I remembered my mother_ , the words got stuck in her throat. A pang of frustration hit her, it had been years, shouldn't she be able to just say the words out loud? Perhaps the worst of all was that prickling feeling in her eyes kept on stinging. It made her feel vulnerable... like when she'd huddled into that cave, staring at the lamp's warm flickering light.

Jyn didn't like that feeling. Not at all.

Her eyes fluttered shut when Cassian nuzzled her neck, a hum crept up her throat when he pressed a kiss to the sensitive spot below her ear. She leant back onto his chest, taking a deep breath when he laid a kiss on her hair. Which, judging by the way it gave in, was right below her half done braid. Her hand reached for his out of instinct, and soon her fingers were sweeping along the bumpy trail of his knuckles. He made a soft sound, something in between a hum and a sigh, and pulled her closer, nuzzling and kissing her neck again.

He didn't say anything. The only sounds she took in were the rhythmic whir of the chrono and the light breeze of their synced breathing. As seconds dragged into minutes Jyn wondered whether Cassian would ask her anything at all. Perhaps he suspected what had caused her sudden unrest, maybe he'd even figured it out. Be that as it may, she was thankful he'd neither insisted nor pressured her into talking.

She felt the braid coming undone slowly. Strands getting loose, untwisted, sliding apart, just like memories had been sliding away from her grasp throughout the years, no matter how hard she'd tried to knot them to her mind. It tore apart the little scarring, slashing open the old wound of loss all over again. It wasn't a bittersweet emotion what washed over her, it was a darker, more twisted feeling, a mixture of sadness, anguish and anger... it was sorrow and grief pulsing intertwined, blocking out the bright glimmer of joy trying desperately to resurface at the memory.

The cave kept getting darker and darker. Not even the lazy stroke of Cassian's fingers on her arm, the breeze of his breathing across her cheek and the tight wrap of his arm around her were enough to keep the light from dying out, not this time.

She took a deep breath, yet Cassian shifted, which might as well signal she'd not masked her sniff as well as she'd thought.

"I am out of practice, after all," Cassian said out of the blue, brushing strands of hair away from her neck. "So, you know, no hard feelings," the rustle of a chuckle, "I wouldn't want to make a mess out of your hair... or anything—" he trailed off, deft fingers undoing the braid.

Jyn's fingers closed around his wrist.

"I wouldn't mind," was the only thing she could bring herself to say.

With a hum, Cassian resumed his task, crossing the side strands over the centre one while methodically adding hair from the sides, working his way down her head. Jyn bit her lip, her face contorting into an involuntary wince every time Cassian would accidentally pull her hair when a tiny knot intruded.

There was no mirror in his quarters for her to take a peek, though Jyn doubted he'd managed to mess her hair, whatever that meant for Cassian. She nibbled her lip, cheeks tensing with the ghost of a smile. If she was really that curious, she could have got up and inspect her reflection on her turned-off data-pad, but decided the chance of burrowing back into Cassian's chest was more tempting.

"How does it look?" she asked, reaching for the braid with tentative fingers.

"Fairly decent. Not that disastrous, all things considering," he chortled.

"Though you're out of practice," Jyn added, surprising herself when her voice took an amused tone.

"Yeah, I haven't made a braid in years."

I'm sure it looks great, she wanted to say, wishing to earn that sheepish smile from him, but she couldn't bring herself to speak.

Jyn had questions, of course. She wanted to ask when, how he'd learnt to braid, whose hair he'd braided. She wanted to know about that little piece of his past. She would have liked to tell him mama always braided her hair in two pigtails on Lah'mu, how after her bath the process always was a bit of a struggle and there was always some tugging and silent, prickling tears involved... perhaps even tell him how papa would took her braids and swing them up and down while humming to get a smile whenever she was down in the dumps—

But that would require Cassian to dwell on his past, which he didn't do quite often, and Jyn didn't want to pry. After all, she'd not been forward with him moments ago. So she leant back onto his chest, pulling up the messy nestle of fabric and draping the covers over them again. Cassian rested his chin on her crown with a contented sigh.

The nights at Base Three on Nishr were chilly, definitely not as freezing as Hoth by a long shot, but cold enough to huddle for warmth. It'd been a long day, the reckon under the blazing sun and through waving dunes had taken most of Jyn's day, exhaustion weighing heavy on her every muscle. But that had not been the worst part of it all, she had ended the mission caked in an uncomfortable itchy layer of sweat and sand, calling for a long shower and rigorous scrubbing under the warm water.

Jyn, drowsy eyes and limp limbs, had been tempting sleep snuggled against Cassian when something startled her awake.

Cassian's datapad discarded next to his boots, his fingers running through her hair.

“Ssh. Stop fussing. I’m just braiding your hair.”

The tender comfort of his embrace and the soft rocking of his chest against her back melted the gloom remanent in her mind, darkness ebbing away into a bright warmth. The light steadily broke into the cave.

A smile dangled on her lips.

"I hope it survives the night," Jyn said, nearly laughing, and brought the braid to her chest.

She felt Cassian smiling against her hair, she could practically hear the chuckle bubbling in his throat.

"Spill it," she defied him, almost giving in to the laughter.

Cassian fiddled with the chord of her necklace before answering a nonchalant, "I think that would be far-fetched."

She wanted to prickle him in the arm, but settled for turning towards him instead.

"And why is that?" she looked up at him, coking an eyebrow.

A smile flickered across his face and he bit his lip, there was a teasing twinkle to his gaze and the wrinkles on the corner of his eyelids. Creases plagued his forehead as the brisk casual retort left his mouth, "Jyn, you move around a lot."

Jyn didn't know whether snorting or rolling her eyes would be more appropriate. She found herself narrowing her eyes and pursing her lips, a huff escaping from her mouth, quickly followed by a mumbled, "you're exaggerating."

Cassian had the nerve to snort. To her face. And then let out an actual laugh, its brevity didn't matter at all, the grunt built in her throat nonetheless.

"My kicked shins and whacked chest would beg to differ," his eyes full of mirth.

The amusement in his voice made her face crease into a frown. Yet, given by the way Cassian's gaze softened and the smile spreading over his face, her attempted glare was anything but murderous. Jyn was about to stress her disagreement even further turning around without uttering a single word, when Cassian spoke again, no trace of light-heartedness in his voice this time.

"I can always tidy it up in the morning."

The statement was such a bolt from the blue that Jyn almost blinked in disbelief. She managed to mask her surprise casting a curious look at him. When she nodded, he looked down, his fingers fiddled with the worn chord at her neck, a dimple took shape on his cheek and a pensive crease appeared between his eyebrows. Cassian let out a faint, almost imperceptible, sigh and so Jyn waited.

This time the twinkle to his eyes came first than the choked back laugh and bit-down smile. Jyn had to bite down a smile of her own at the anticipation. She wanted to squeeze his arm, trace the hard line of his jaw with her thumb until he lifted his gaze lock it with hers. He did look up, another soft sigh later. He reached for the braid, brushing her cheek, and felt the valleys and hills with the pads of his fingers.

He fixed his eyes on her the moment a broader smile tugged at his lips.

"My mum always did it— my cousin wouldn't eat her breakfast if her braids weren't perfect."

It was almost a whisper, a low tone rippled the hush with emotion. He cleared his throat, yet when he spoke next his voice still wavered, tinged with choked-back sadness, "that's how I learnt to braid... from watching my mum."

The last part almost got caught in his throat.

"I tried braiding my own hair when I was little," Jyn offered, her tone rising with the giggle building in her throat. "Let's just say it's never been one of my strongest suits."

"That's why— I mean, the bun," said Cassian, gesturing vaguely to the back of his head.

Jyn hummed. Her heart did a little flutter at his smile, this time it reached his eyes, wrinkling the corners of his eyelids.

"I guess it's easier to braid someone else's hair," he offered.

"Yeah," Jyn whispered. She snuggled closer and shot back, "good thing I have you then."

Cassian couldn't fight back the chuckle. When Jyn slid her arms around his chest, burying her face in the crook of his neck, a soft, contended hum escaped his lips. A small smile tugged at his mouth when Jyn tightened her grasp, it spread over his face when she nuzzled his neck, just over her pulse point, her lips brushing lightly on his skin. Snuffing another hum, he pressed a kiss to her hair.

Cassian Jeron Andor. Rebel Intelligence officer, captain of the Rebel Alliance and hair stylist of Jyn Erso, his stubborn, resilient, rash yet awkwardly introverted girlfriend. He'd to admit it definitely had a ring to it.

 

The next morning Jyn didn't budge, nor went still all of a sudden, when he braided her hair. The gloom that had clouded her eyes was nowhere to be seen, a dazzling smile taking hold of her lips instead. When she asked him about his cousin, her voice almost sank to a whisper. Cassian found himself talking about Brisa, and the way she proudly wore her two long braids anywhere, even tugging them out from her wool hat amidst the cold and the snow. Recalling the scene of the two of them together, playing in the icy white plains of Fest, spread warmth through his chest. He asked her then, out of curiosity, how her mama braided her hair. The question made Jyn's eyes lit up and memories spilled from her mouth. Her voice wavered at times, not out of choked-back emotion but of rippling giggles.

And while his fingers interwove her hair, they untangled, little by little, the knotted web of memories they'd kept buried under their grief and sadness, plucking them out from the darkness, dusting off the pain that blurred their shine. Their mellow light warmed their hearts with tender echoes of homes long gone, yet, right there, flickered an ever-growing hopeful flame of a new, different, kind of home.


End file.
